Author: Eugene Fischer

DIY Microwave Popcorn

popcorn1

From a very young age I have devoted a great deal of mental energy to the process of making popcorn. My parents had an oil-based popcorn maker that I fell in love with as a toddler.  It had a yellow plastic dome that you could see through, and a reservoir for oil and popcorn, and I would stare enthralled as the kernels exploded with intoxicating violence and the machine slowly filled.  When I got older and could do it myself I used this machine often, and when I went to college my parents got me its modern equivalent: the same thing, but with a motorized stirring rod to heat the popcorn more evenly.  For years I used this popper, but my love for it was marred by how difficult it was to clean.  The base with the heating element was heavy, and could not be immersed in water.  The clear plastic lid also dispensed butter through a screen in the top, which then had to be soaked.  The stirrer had to be carefully disassembled.  And, of course, you had to wait until it cooled down enough to clean.  There were times when my desire for popcorn wasn’t worth the mess.

Eventually I learned a way to make popcorn in a large pot, which was a substantial improvement as it was much easier to clean. I pretty much stopped using my popcorn maker, and happily had many delicious and undoubtedly healthy 100% popcorn meals.  For you see, the labor involved in making popcorn on the stove is unrelated to the volume you are cooking, so it is inefficient to make only a small amount of popcorn that way.  Which means I never did.  And I couldn’t allow it to get stale, so I always ate all of it.  I mean, it was only logical.

Lurking in the background all these years was microwave popcorn.  It is much faster and easier to make,  it comes in a pre-sized portion which helps prevent overeating, and there is next to no cleanup required.  On the surface it seems the perfect solution.  The problem is that microwave popcorn tastes terrible compared to home made oil popped, and I was raised on the good stuff.  On top of not tasting good, it is probably about 100 times more expensive.  So while microwave popcorn has been a part of my life, it has never achieved supremacy.  But that might be about to change.

I moved recently.  Yesterday I was unpacking a box of pantry stuff, and had simultaneously in view several items that suggested an experiment in DIY microwave popcorn.  It was a fabulous success.

SUPPLIES NEEDED

This project requires:

  • 1 paper lunch sack
  • 1 stapler with staples
  • 1/4 cup of popcorn
  • 1 tbsp cooking oil

STEP ONE

popcorn2

Pour 1/4 cup of popcorn and 1 tbsp of oil into the bottom of the sack.  You can also add spices or salt if you so desire.

STEP TWO

popcorn4

Refold the bag and lay it down with the bottom facing up. (If you lay it on the other side the bag will stand up in the microwave, which in my experience makes the popcorn more likely to burn.)  Press on the pouch at the bottom of the bag to ensure that the kernels are well coated with oil.

STEP THREE

popcorn5

Fold over the top of the bag and staple it closed.  Seriously.  Do not worry about the metal going into the microwave.  Staples are tiny, they will not cause any problems.  I usually use two.

STEP FOUR

popcorn6

Put the bag in the microwave.  I recommend putting a plate under it, as the bag will leak some oil.  (The plate may be hot when you take it out.) Microwave the bag for 2-3 minutes, or until the pops slow to a couple of seconds apart.

STEP FIVE

popcorn7

Open and enjoy.  Here is what the popcorn you just made looks like in a bowl, with the stapler for scale:

popcorn8

I may never buy prepackaged microwave popcorn again.

EDIT: A google search shows that this is actually a fairly well publicized technique.

I Was Trying to See PONYO

But the sign outside the theater says I’m seeing something else…

Worldcon 2009: Mostly Ties

A Strange Horizons Fund Drive Update

For one day only, John and Kristine Scalzi will match donations made to Strange Horizons, up to $500.  I got to meet Kristine and John at Worldcon, and they are fully as amazing people as this act of generosity would suggest.  Let’s help them make the most of this awesome gesture.  Donate to Strange Horizons today.

What Strange Horizons Means to Me

Karen Meisner has explained that she and the other editors of the online SF magazine Strange Horizons, which is run as a donation supported NPO, have a problem I can easily relate to: a lack of facility for self-promotion.  I need to merely think back to how my high school councilors tore their hair trying to get me to sell myself in my college applications to empathize with this.  I feel healthier and happier when I let people decide for themselves what sort of person I am, without trying to convince people I’m awesome, so I am right there when she says that the self promotion push makes her feel icky.  But Karen is very clever, and knows that while tooting one’s own horn is unfun, gushing about things you love and are unconnected with is pleasant and wholesome.  So she has declared this Strange Horizons appreciation week, and asks that people who like the magazine talk about it and explain why.

I first came to Strange Horizons as a reader in 2006.  I originally got sucked in by the stories of Meghan McCarron and Joey Comeau, and I stuck around, finding new authors and voices to love.  At this time I was still working on my physics degree, and in retrospect I can see Strange Horizons as an early step in my focus shifting from science to fiction.  I got unexpectedly excited reading reviews by such cogent and incisive critics as Abigail Nussbaum and Paul Kincaid.  The next semester I carved out a place in my schedule for a class called Fiction Writing, and the semester after that I took Advanced Fiction Writing.

In both of these classes the professor asked that we stick to mimetic fiction rather than writing genre fiction, as he would be focusing his lessons on qualities (complex characterization, exploration of meaningful human scenarios) that mimetic fiction had and genre fiction largely did not.  By the second semester of his course I had built up enough good will that I felt comfortable challenging these stereotypes, and tried to write a piece of genre fiction that ticked all of his mimetic fiction checkboxes.  It was a story of decrepitude and self deception and zombies.  A couple of years later I decided I wanted to go to Clarion, and used that story in my application.  And when the people at Clarion convinced me that it was worth trying to get my work published, I sent that story to Strange Horizons.  They published it earlier this year — my first professional sale.

overdeskThis is the wall over my desk.  The photographs on the right are my high school creative writing class, my college graduation, and my Clarion class.  On the left is a National Merit Scholarship certificate and a print by John Picacio.  In the middle there is a lot of empty space that it is my intent to fill with more letters like the one I have framed from the fiction editors of Strange Horizons telling me they wish to publish a story of mine.  They gave me the first chance to fill some space on my triumph wall, as they have done for many others.  Championing new talent is part of their mandate, the fund drive page says that over 10% of their stories in the past year were first publications, like mine.  There are lots of of reasons to love Strange Horizons, but one of the most important is that they are a conduit through which new voices come into the field.  They supported me, and will support other talented people in the future, if we support them.

Go give the Strange Horizons fund drive page a look.

Delay

Storms over New Jersey kept me from getting home last night as originally planned. I should end up getting into San Antonio around 9:00 pm. The story of my (pretty damn awesome) first Worldcon will have to wait until after I’m home, showered, and wearing clean clothes.

Worldcon Vs. Spider

I’m up, I’m finishing my packing for Worldcon, and in a few hours I will head to the airport.  I do have one nagging thing on my mind though: the rather intense itching on my ankle. I’m fairly certain I was bitten by a brown recluse spider about 32 hours ago when I slid my feet under the covers of my bed.  The bite felt like a pinprick, and not a bad one.  I now know this is indicative of a spider bite, but I didn’t at the time.  It didn’t really start showing clear symptoms of being a spider bite until after close of business yesterday, so I didn’t end up trying to see my doctor about it.  All the research I’ve done says that this will either turn into one of those big scary necrotic volcano lesions, or it won’t, and there isn’t really a lot of treatment to be done until it goes one way or the other.  So I’m going to go ahead and get on the plane, and if I have to I suppose I will get to experience some socialized medicine first hand.

Still, I wish to document my injury.  The bite after 32 hours (just sixty more and I am theoretically safe from skin necrosis):

IMG_0399

Review of THE RADIO MAGICIAN & OTHER STORIES by James Van Pelt

The Radio Magician and Other StoriesAs previously related, James Van Pelt kindly sent me an advanced copy of his forthcoming short story collection, The Radio Magician & Other Stories to review.  I decided that I would read the book straight through, writing a review of each story as I finished it.

“The Radio Magician” – The story that got me excited about this collection in the first place. This is a very sweet tale with a powerfully realized sense of place and time. It’s about a young boy nearly paralyzed by polio and his love of radio drama and magic (stage magic and real magic, the borders blur)—pretty clear as metaphors for empowerment go. But the heart of this story is the spirit of generosity running through it. This is a warm story, filled with characters who try to make things a little easier for each other, or if not easier at least better. “If we’ve got any magic, we should share it,” our protagonist is told, and finds his empowerment by taking that message to heart. A little gem.

“Where Did You Come From, Where Did You Go?” – A short short, which raises the question, is suffering which inspires great art justified? It raises the question, but given the length doesn’t explore it. More attention is paid to two high school senior protagonists who find that the question might be directly relevant to their future. The main idea of the story seems to be how terrifying it is to make the initial choices that will define one’s life. As a high school teacher, the author likely sees this terror first hand quite a bit.

“The Light of a Thousand Suns” – I had problems enjoying this story. It is largely nostalgia for an out-of-fashion fear: cold war style nuclear annihilation. It is self-aware nostalgia, so the fact that I am not of the generation that grew up being taught to hide under school desks wasn’t fatal to my enjoyment. Rather, I was thrown out of the story by the way suicide bombing is described as a magical ritual. By way of explanation for the magic that takes place in the story we are told that suicide bombers do what they do essentially to curry magical favor—a sacraficial magic model. Suicide bombing, from what I understand of the systems of control, manipulation, and vicimization that enable it and result from it, is too much of a multivariate human tragedy for me to accept it being used so flippantly. The bombers themselves are as likely as not to be disconsolate people manipulated by fanatics with a vested interest in perpetuating cycles of violence. I can’t easily accept a story about how horrifying nuclear proliferation is conceptually when that story is simultaneously glossing over how horrifying suicide bombing is in practice.

“Of Late I Dreamed Of Venus” – Centuries long terraforming of Venus by a woman who is an ultra-rich industrialist in sort of the Rod McBan (Norstrilia)/Randy Hunter (Timemaster)/D. D. Harriman (“The Man Who Sold The Moon”) mold; rich to the point that practicality is no longer an important consideration as she pursues her ambitions. (It occurs to me that in hard SF huge sums of money have long served as a stand-in for magic. These days I suppose it is huge sums of money or the Singularity.) Her wealth plus the availability of long term suspended animation allows her to pursue and personally oversee her goal of turning Venus into a paradise, and her secret goal of transforming her assistant into her ideal companion. She learns there are limits to what can be controlled. The thematic beats are heavily telegraphed and there are several extended dream sequences which are necessary for pacing, but whose content add little to the story. Still, I enjoyed it, especially the mechanics of terraforming and the details of how society has changed each time the viewpoint character awakens. The evolving Venus is well realized.

“Different Worlds” – a 10-year-old girl and her dog must care for her injured and delirious father in a world where aliens have conquered Earth to emancipate certain domesticated animals. Kind of reminds me of more diplomatically inclined versions of the probe from Star Trek IV, or the aliens in John Varley’s The Ophiuchi Hotline universe. Beyond the metaphor of the title which is explained by an anecdote the father tells, this seems a very straightforward tale. Or there are subtleties I managed to miss. I’d be interested to know if this story had a specific inspiration; it kind of feels like it is a reaction to something, though I can’t pin down what that might be.

“The Small Astral Object Genius” – I really like this one. A boy whose parents are separating throws all his time and energy into a sort of do-it-yourself space probe kit called a Peek-a-boo, pretty clearly inspired by things like SETI@home. But there is no proof that Peek-a-boo is not a scam, tricking kids into thinking they are doing science. Dustin, the main character, expresses a fierce credulity whenever the thing is challenged. Eventually he almost accidentally does something with the device that generates some publicity and alters his family circumstance. The ending has the form of a happy ending, but I can’t help but believe that it is really heartbreaking. Dustin is just as optimistic that things are going to start being better at the end of the story as he is sure that the Peek-a-boo is real. An adult reading the story suspects that he is more likely than not to be disappointed. Very light in tone, but perhaps the darkest story in the book so far.

“Tiny Voices” – Death and new life and funny talking office equipment. Set in a future industrialized nation, probably America, in which in vivo pregnancy has been eliminated and all appliances and tools have electronic intelligence and can speak directly to their users through speakers or through mental implants. An excellent story with some very effective humor and a simple but compelling scenario that I don’t wish to spoil. First story in the collection that has seemed to me to fire on all cylinders as well as “The Radio Magician” does.

“Lashwanda at the End” — A fine example of the “explorers land on a planet without realizing all the ways it can be hostile to them” family of stories, which I generally enjoy. In this story the hostile ecology is primarily vegetative, so it is sort of a more biologically rigorous version of LeGuin’s “Vaster Than Empires and More Slow.” But unlike in that story, the people in this story are not insane, though our viewpoint character is somewhat frantic, as he is having to confront death—specifically the death of a colleague he loves. He has lived for centuries via life extending technology, and finds the prospect hard to deal with. There is a nice subversion of trope in this story, which I won’t spoil. Very good.

“Where and When” – I’m going to give the central conceit of this story away, so now is your chance to skip ahead if you so desire. It’s a time travel story that attempts to solve the paradox problems by positing that it is only possible to time travel to “dead ends,” places where you can’t effect anything because you won’t survive. For example you can travel back to Hiroshima right before the bomb falls, because no “information” from that moment will be accessible by the future. It’s clever, but from a physical standpoint, the information content of the system is still changed when you add the mass of a new human body to it. What these rules prevent is not the perpetuation of information, but of agency. Which in turn suggests the existence of a physical law that is, essentially, a law of conservation of narrative – a concept that is to me even more far-fetched than time travel. That doesn’t keep it from being a fun concept, though I think the story kind of lacks the strength of its convictions by positing the existence of mathematical wiggle room that will allow the main characters to survive. At least, they think they can—I’d like it better if they were wrong. So, on the whole a pretty silly story, although it has typically strong character moments. (One thought that just occurred to me: story order may be working against my enjoyment here, as we just went from a fairly rigorous SF story to a very hand-wavey, light one. This story might seem weaker to a reader primed by the one immediately preceding it.)

“One Day in the Middle of the Night” – A story cleverly structured around making literal truth out of the self-contradictory lines of the rhyming folktale with which it shares a title. The story takes place on a sleeper starship on which the only people awake are two brothers who hate and want to kill each other. A suspense story of hunting and being hunted, I would only criticize it for not having as well visualized a sense of place as most of the other stories in the collection so far.

“Echoing” – A trucker who can barely see through the blowing snow, a suicidal young girl hiding from her family on Christmas, and a being of indeterminate species piloting a psychic ship across the galaxy share a linked experience of uncontrolled momentum towards a dangerous destination. Perhaps their lives are connected by the titular echoing of the psychic ship as its pilot loses control. All of them lack an element of control, but perhaps, barely comprehending what is happening, they can help stabilize each other. A structurally fascinating story.

“The Inn at Mount Either” – A miracle, when discovered, will be monetized. This story is a case of missing persons at a vacation resort that is a hub of alternate realities. And given that alternate realties come into play, a problem of missing persons can be hard to distinguish from one of mistaken identity. A very fun read. Excellent.

“The Ice Cream Man” – Many decades after the onset of a mutagenic apocalypse wherin all living things stop having children that are remotely like themselves, the universal appeal of confectionery makes Keegan the ice cream man the only person who has commerce with both the mutants and the remaining humans. And so he is the only one caught in the middle when the human community decides to abandon a “live and let live” policy and go on the offensive. A story of the factors that go into building a person’s identity, and of choosing sides. Simple and entertaining, with moments of profundity.

“Sacrifice” – The voice in this story is something of a departure from the stories preceding it, which is refreshing. That’s not to say that voice has been a problem, just that the novelty is nice. It is two young people from a fallen, post-technological human culture engaging in a sad ritual. But there is some remaining knowledge of their history that the girl has become aware of thanks to an offscreen wise old man character. In fact, the wise old man character is so wise that the disconnect between his knowledge of what is really going on and the institutional superstition of everyone else strains belief. Also, contains the book’s first sex scenes that I can recall, which are very well written. The story as a whole is pleasant, but difficult to really buy into.

“The Boy Behind the Gate” – I have a new candidate for darkest story in the collection. Here we have two parallel stories set in the same mining town, one in the modern day and one in 1880. Today a man is desperately searching for a kidnapped son he fears is dead, in the past a father is trying to work up the courage to kill a son he fears causes the deaths of other children. The two storylines move toward each other and eventually intersect, but neither father’s course leads to redemptive results. There is a great talent for setting on display in this fairly depressing, though well written, story.

“The Last Age Should Know Your Heart” – Sentient, poetry loving robots trying to reach each other before the heat death of the universe. Beautiful.

“Origin of the Species” – Mythological beings got diluted almost out of existence by mating with humans long ago. Almost. But their characteristics persist as recessive genes. So at the high school where the story is set, our loner point of view character is a little bit werewolf, the big dumb sexually experienced jock is a little bit troll, and it isn’t hard to figure out what the girl they mutually desire, Fay, is. The clever bit though is how the story plays off the way that adolescence seems mythological, every social success or failure an epic victory or tragedy. Here, the teenage years feel fraught with mythology because they literally are. The way the characters grow into their magical stereotypes seems the most realistic part of the story. A bit predictable, but fun all the same.

“The Saturn Ring Blues” – The title could easily fit an episode of Cowboy Bebop, and so could the content. Two ex-lovers take part in a race around Saturn’s rings. The main function of the story is playing around with voice and a blues-y idiom. Again, reading the book straight through, the novely of tone is refreshing, and while there isn’t a lot of depth, the story gets the job done and doesn’t overstay its welcome. Another fun one.

“How Music Begins” – Fabulous. A middle school band is trapped in eternal band camp by mysterious demiurges until they can produce the perfect performance. A richly nuanced story, probably even more so for people who have devoted their lives to teaching and spend their days seeing children develop into adults. Also has what I think is the collection’s first clearly homosexual character. It was starting to bother me that there hadn’t been one yet. The collection ends on a high note.

So, I liked a majority of the stories, which is pretty good for a large collection.  Thanks to James Van Pelt for letting me read it.  The Radio Magician & Other Stories comes out in September.

Check Out That Can, part 2

I can’t stop thinking about Brock Davis’s sculpture in this post.  It is so suggestive of genitalia, as it was intended to be, but it isn’t actually shaped anything like any human genitals.  It’s just a decorated aluminum can.  And to me it equidistant between male and female, suggesting both, but neither predominantly; a clever trick.  (Though I half expect my topologist friend Andrew to pop in and tell me I’m wrong, it’s actually closer to one or the other by some metric.)  How did he do it?

I think the reason it works so well is that, rather than choose individual characteristics of specific genetalia, he took advantage of heuristics by which we recognize them in general.  Flesh tone is an obvious one, with some bumps and texture for verisimilitude.  Genitals are part of a body, and a band-aid is something we only apply to a body, so putting one on the can induces the viewer to think of it as a body part.  A change of curvature is associated with a fringe of hair.  An opening is limned in more reddish “tissue.”  These non-gender-specific but related cues all applied to the same object make me look at it and think “sex organ,” despite it not being shaped like one.

I wonder what an analogous technique in prose would be.  Favoring descriptive words that are associated with a specific object/class/thing, when that isn’t what you are describing?  I read a story recently in which several characters were afraid of encountering a dog.  They are worried that a dog could show up at any time, and when one of them says something the verb used is “yipped.”  Is this an example of a similar trick?  It seems like it would be a powerful tool to have, being able to suggest the presence of something to a reader without the need to actually have it there.  What are other ways this is accomplished in fiction?

This Is Going To Be So Great

It’s almost time for Worldcon.  In Montreal.  Hmm..

sanantweather

montrealweather

I think I’m going to like this little vacation.  Also: reunion with friends and a science fiction convention.