Eugene Fischer

Category: Blog

Stuff I’m Doing and Reading: A Miscellany

So I’m paying hosting costs for this site, right?  I bought a domain name and everything.  I should do something with it.  Here’s what I’m doing right now:

Tiny Hamburgers

I’m in a bar, lurking in corners with my laptop and munching tiny hamburgers.  Creepy and delicious!  Even more exciting than what I’m doing right now: things on the internet that I have recently enjoyed.

First up, Leonard Richardson’s story “Let Us Now Praise Awesome Dinosaurs” just went live on Strange Horizons.  The story is precisely what it says on the tin, and the world is a better place for it.  I haven’t met Leonard, but he was one of the editors of Thoughtcrime Experiments, which has been pretty awesome every time I’ve dipped into it.  I should note that this is a story written in the infernokrusher idiom, the description and discussion of which at the link are supremely entertaining reading in their own right.

Next, a review of Robert Heinlein’s The Moon is a Harsh Mistress by Nicholas Whyte.  He is one of my favorite sources of thoughtful writing about science fiction, and The Moon is a Harsh Mistress has been one of my favorite SF novels for years.  It’s one of those books I buy copies of to give away.  Nicholas’s review almost perfectly reflects my own thoughts about the book, except if I were writing it there would probably have been a little gleeful gushing about the awesomeness of people hurtling between planets in jury rigged tin cans.  But then I think I’m more of a gusher than he is.

Just got word that there is a birthday party I need to be at.

Exuent.

Life, Origins and Complications Thereof

This site has been a bit dead for a while.  I’ve been distracted, not in the least because I’ve been getting ready to move to a new apartment.  Life has been getting in the way, in other words.  Silly life.  On a related topic, here is a video which gives a concise and compelling explanation of how life may have begun in the first place and caused all these problems.

Advanced Candyland

Last night was game night at the house of some friends.  One of the games we broke out was a brand new Candyland set.  This is the modern Candyland, which has three “lose one turn” squares, rather than the “remain stuck until you draw the correct color card” version I remember from my childhood.  In case you haven’t played in a while, the basic strategy of Candyland is this: draw cards and advance your token.  There is literally no decision-making in Candyland.  You don’t even get to decided who goes first; the rules specify that play starts with the youngest player and proceeds clockwise.  So the course of the game is determined entirely by the random shuffling of the deck and where around the table players decide to sit.

This, as you might imagine, makes for a somewhat boring game.  So we entertained ourselves by coming up with new rules to make the game more interesting.  Here are the rules of Advanced Candyland.

Equipment:

• One Candyland set.

• One six-sided die.

Setup:

Separate out the six character cards from the deck and put them aside.  Shuffle the remaining cards and deal each player a four card hand.

Gameplay:

Roll the die to determine order of play.  Play starts with the person rolling the highest number, and proceeds clockwise around the table.  Players get one action per turn.  There are four possible actions: (1) roll the die and advance your token the rolled number of squares; (2) play a card from your hand on your token, and advance to the appropriate colored square as in standard Candyland; (3) play a card from your hand on another player’s token and advance it to the appropriate colored square as in standard Candyland; (4) if you have fewer than four cards in your hand, draw a card.

The goal of the game is to be the first player to gain entry to King Kandy’s castle.  This is done by landing directly on the Rainbow square at the end of the board, while being in possession of no less than two character cards.  Players acquire character cards by landing directly on the corresponding character square, which, as character squares have no color, can be done only by rolling the die (or by being bumped by another player, described below).  When a player lands on a character square he or she gains ownership of the corresponding character card, taking it from another player if it is already owned.  If a player lands on the square for a character he or she already owns, that player draws a card from the deck.

If the end of the board is reached and at least two character cards are not owned, the player moves his or her token back to the start and draws four new cards.  When the deck is depleted, shuffle the discard pile and proceed as before.  If a player’s token lands on an occupied space, the token that was already there is bumped back one space.

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These rules made Candyland playable, though still not the most fun game in the world.  Mediocrity may be the highest attainable goal with this foundation.  One possible improvement we discussed but did not have the energy to pursue was to change the behavior of the licorice squares from losing a turn to something that fosters more player interaction.  Suggestions of further refinements are welcome.

WisCon 33

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This was my first SF convention, and was something of a test to see if I could enjoy conventions of any kind.  Last summer, while I was in San Diego for Clarion, I went to ComiCon, which managed to awaken an inner agoraphobe the existence of which I had not previously suspected.  But a week later Nalo Hopkinson made me promise to attend WisCon, assuring me I would find it a valuable experience.  Boy, was she ever right.

Day 1:

Geoff Ryman, Kat Howard, Me, and Keffy Kherli

Clarion 2008 Reunion 1: Geoff Ryman, Kat Howard, Me, and Keffy Kehrli

Kat, Keffy, and I drove to Madison from Minneapolis, in Kat’s VW Beetle.  I rode in the back, and slept part of the way, waking up in time to see our entry into the city.  We checked in to the Concourse hotel, then wandered out into downtown until we found a restaurant that wanted to fill us with post-road-trip margaritas.  Then it was back to the hotel, where we visited the Dealer Room (where I discovered that attempting to talk to Ted Chiang turned me into a stuttering fool, albiet one able to correctly identify literary influences), then wandered around until it was time for the opening ceremonies.  I managed to catch Geoff Ryman, Guest of Honor and one of our Clarion teachers, as he was coming in the door, and we monopolized his attention until the stage manager for the opening ceremonies came and asked if we wouldn’t mind terribly letting the GoH go to take part in the Con programming.  There was a skit, which was mildly entertaining but was completely overshadowed by Geoff and Ellen Klages spontaneously making out with each other.

Kat, Me, Mary Anne Mohanraj, Keffy

Clarion 2008 Reunion 2: Kat, Me, Mary Anne Mohanraj, Keffy

After the opening ceremonies, Keffy had a panel.  “TYRANNOSAURS IN F-14S!!!!” on the topic of SF that is so bad that it’s good.  The discussion focused mostly on television and movies.  The consensus opinion was that books generally don’t fall into the “so bad it’s good” category for most people because (a) books lack the audiovisual component that, when done well, can act as foils for a weak story, and (b) the time investment required to read a book is usually enough greater than the time to watch a movie that they are held to a higher standard.   After Keffy’s panel the programming of interest was over and we were off to the parties, where we met Jed Hartman and had a reunion with Mary Anne Mohanraj, another of our Clarion teachers.  We didn’t stay at the parties long, though, as we were all exhausted.

Day 2:

Keffy with Sybil's Garage #6, his first publication

Keffy with Sybil's Garage #6, his first publication

Breakfast was had at a coffee and crepes place we found called Bradbury’s, which struck us as an appropriately SFnal name.  Then Kat and I went to Ellen Klages’s Guest of Honor reading while Keffy went to another panel.  We met up again in the Dealer’s Room to find, among other things, the new issue of Sybil’s Garage, which contains Keffy’s first publication.  Then Kat went to have lunch with Ellen Kushner and Delia Sherman, Keffy went to moderate a panel, “Keeping Up With Science,” and I went to another panel, “What’s in the Air?” with Geoff, Jed, Neil Rest, and Kristine Smith, which was about how techonlogy will be changing human society in the near-term future.  My favorite comment from that one was made by a textile preservationist named (I think) Laura who observed that a post-privacy technological society might have more in common, in terms of interpersonal relationships, with a pre-technological small town than it does with the modern day.  When that panel was over I went to a reading by, among others, Ellen Ku. and Delia.  The reading was notable as the only Con programming at which I encoutered people being assholes: a pair came in late and sat behind me, whispering loudly about how it was “happening again” and “rude to the real writers.”  As it happened, the Con program was printed before the full lineup for the reading was finalized, and the first reader wasn’t listed (though her name was on the sign outside the door).  So the natural thing to do, at least in the minds of the people behind me, was to stand up and interrupt her mid-sentence to say, “When are the writers who are actually scheduled going to be reading?”  Ellen Kushner smacked them down.

After the reading I went to “How Should Magazines and Anthologies Review Submissions?” with Mary Anne, Susan Marie Groppi (EIC of Strange Horizons, a letter from whom I have framed on the wall of my office), John Joseph Adams, Sumana Harihareshwara, Deb Taber, and Adrian Alan Simmons.  The best thing about this panel was getting to meet Susan, Sumana, and Deb, with whom I would find myself interacting more as the Con progressed.  I also learned from J. J. Adams that when F&SF takes a long time to get back to you, it is generally a good thing.  (As of this writing they’ve had a story I sent them for eight weeks.)  After the panel the group got together again for the Tiptree auction, which was one of the most entertaining events I’ve ever attended.  Highlights included a Geoff Ryman striptease act and a group recitation of a hilariously queer award from Ellen Klages’s childhood.

Day 3:

"Giant" by Ingrid Kallick

"Giant" by Ingrid Kallick -- notice the shawl made of people

Again began the day with breakfast at Bradbury’s.  Then Keffy went to “Keeping the S in SF,” and Kat and I attended “The Kids’ Books That Made Us,” after which we went to the art room to pick up a print Kat had purchased.  I ended up buying a different print by the same artist, Ingrid Kallick.  “Giant” whispered to me as I walked past it that it was actually a short story masquerading as a piece of visual art, and really needed to come home with me so I could write it.

As we were leaving the art room, Ellen Kushner invited us to lunch with her and Delia.  We tracked down Keffy and headed out to an Afghani restaurant.  On the way we ran into Mary Anne, Ben Rosenbaum, and Mary Kowal, and the group grew.  And then seemed to grow some more, until Ellen turned around and announced, “I don’t do twelve person lunches.”  The final tally ended up at nine.  From lunch Keffy went to be on “The Obligatory Workshop Panel,” and Kat and I went to hear Geoff’s Guest of Honor reading, after which was what turned out to be my favorite event at WisCon: the Strange Horizons Tea Party.

Me and Karen Meisner

Karen Meisner and me

At the Tea Party I managed to drop all of my social anxiety for perhaps the only time during the Con.  I finally met my editor on “Husbandry,” Karen Meisner, who I had been looking for all weekend.  We hit it off quite well.  I excitedly related my Con activities, and she, amused, told me that I was imbuing ubiquitous experiences with the wide-eyed wonder of a neophyte.  She also tracked down and introduced me to Meghan McCarron, who I had been wanting to meet and of whose writing I am a huge fan.  I stayed for the whole party and then some, sweating profusely and chatting incessantly.  I also met Alice Kim, Eric Vogt, and Jennifer I-Didn’t-Get-Her-Last-Name.  Sadly, the Tea Party did eventually end, and I went back to my room to clean up for the Guest of Honor speeches and Tiptree presentation.

Before we went to WisCon I decided that my friends needed to experience the joy that is a polyester robe with dragons on, so I got them each one as a gift.  We donned them before heading down to the ceremony, in preparation for the fancy dress party later than night.

Kat, Keffy, Mary Anne, and me

Kat, Keffy, Mary Anne, and me

We wandered into the big conference hall which had been set up like a dining room, and Ben Rosenbaum gestured us over to the table where Jed, Mary Anne, and Sumana were already sitting.  We listened with them to the speeches, and then to the presentation of the Tiptree award to Nisi Shawl (Patrick Ness was unable to be there to accept his; Geoff read a letter from him).  Then, this years Guests of Honor having been given there full due in accordance with WisCon tradition, the Guests of Honor for next year were announced.  They will be Nnedi Okorafor and… Mary Anne Mohanraj!  We all completely lost our shit, gawking at each other and, when she came back, hugging Mary Anne.  We trailed along behind her, taking pictures and freaking out for about the next hour, then bounced around the parties for perhaps another hour or two before heading back to the room and crashing.

Day 4:

Due to the exigencies of flight schedules and other non-WisCon committments, we got up early and left without taking part in any of the final day’s programming.  But I think we all felt that we got our money’s worth.  I pretty much can’t wait to go again next year.

Tales of WisCon: Incoming

I haven’t been posting much lately, mostly for lack of having anything new to talk about. (I have remained pretty active on Twitter — link in the sidebar.) But this past weekend I went to WisCon with Kat and Keffy, my first SF convention. I had a blast, and will be heading home tomorrow. I’m about to pass out, but watch this space for tales of my amazing first-con experience.

Rest Easy, Minneapolis

A while back, on Facebook….

Me: Meds have made me slow–i left my computer at my parents’ house.  I never do that.  Send brains.

Kathleen: A request for brains makes me suspect that you are not slow, but rather zombie.  Am now rethinking your visit to Minneapolis.

Me: Surely even zombE. J. is welcome, if he comes dressed in a shining golden robe?

Kathleen: Well, I suppose if zombE. J. is wearing the fabulous robe…

But then, some time later, on Twitter…

Keffy:  Additionally, I seem to have come down with an acute case of The Dumb. Please send brains.

Kathleen:  Hmm.  This is an astonishingly zombie-like request.  Are you, perhaps, tweeting from the washing machine?*

Me: Man, whenever anyone puts out a perfectly innocent request for other people’s brains, you start throwing the z-word around.

Kathleen:  1. Requests for other people’s brains are never perfectly innocent. 2. You’re both coming to visit.

And this is true.  Both Keffy and I are going to be visiting Minneapolis later this month.  At the same time.  But it would be foolish–utterly and completely absurd–to think that we were, like, advance scouts for some kind of wacky zombie invasion or something.  Laughable.  There is no cause for alarm.

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*Kathleen is refering here to Keffy’s story “Machine Washable,” which will be appearing in issue 6 of Sybil’s Garage.

Portrait of a Scary Beardy Man

From The Jane Austen Book Club, by Karen Joy Fowler:

Bernadette was our oldest member, just rounding the bend of sixty-seven. She’d recently announced that she was, officially, letting herself go.  “I just don’t look in the mirror anymore,” she’d told us.  “I wish I’d thought of it years ago….

“Like a vampire,” she added, and when she put it that way, we wondered how it was that vampires always managed to look so dapper.  It seemed that more of them should look like Bernadette.

Prudie had once seen Bernadette in the supermarket in her bedroom slippers, her hair sticking up from her forehead as if she hadn’t even combed it.  She was buying frozen edamame and capers and other items that couldn’t have been immediately needed.

Lately I am sort of doing this.  Thanks to steroids, my face looks wrong to me in the mirror, so I have started more or less pretending it isn’t there.  After several weeks of this, I look less like the smiling figure at the top of this page, and more like, well, this:

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Fortunately for both me and any children of delicate disposition who live on my street, I have just gotten permission from my gastroenterologist to begin the process of tapering down my dosage of steroids.  Within the next three months, assuming no medical setbacks, I should recognize my own face again.  Then will come celebratory shaving.

“Husbandry” Genre Poll Results

My poll asking readers to tell me what genre they think my story “Husbandry” is has been up for a week now, and as of this writing the results are: 4 votes for “Fantasy,” 5 votes for “Science Fiction,” and 6 votes for “Something Else.”  So it’s pretty close.  The something-elses have, I think, some granularity, with Sarah, Damien, and Kat arguing that it’s interstitial fiction, and Elizabeth Twist opining that it’s subtle horror–an opinion shared by Karen Meisner (who was my editor on the story) in this comments thread.  (Thanks for the kind words, Shweta!)  EDIT: Oops! I mischaracterized Karen’s opinion–see the comments on this post.

I didn’t vote in the poll.  If I had voted when I set up the poll, I probably would have voted for fantasy, though I would have been thinking that it was fantasy written with a distinctly science fiction sensibility.  I have trouble thinking of it as really being science fiction because, well, zombies.  Everything around that core I tried to treat naturalistically, even rigorously, but there is no mechanism for how death works in the story, and without that I can’t really consider it science fiction.  All of the stories I’ve read with zombies have been ones I would characterize as fantasy, but I could be persuaded that this is because my familiarity of horror as a literary genre is almost nonexistant.  It occurs to me that most zombie movies are considered horror; perhaps that is the natural home of the trope.  I don’t really know where the edges of fantasy and horror meet, or how widely they overlap.  And is what I’m calling an overlap what the Interstitial Arts Foundation would call an interstice?  I’m not sure I understand what interstitial art is.  It seems more natural to me to think of these categories as overlapping Venn diagrams, of genres as things that bleed into each other rather than as things with gaps between them into which some stories slip.  But then I don’t have the task of marketing books to bookstores.  The interstitial metaphor begins to make more sense if there is a shelf of fantasy and a shelf of horror, and they don’t touch each other.  Suddenly, in the bookstore of my mind, my story is lying on the floor somewhere between them.  So, I’m still not sure I know what genre “Husbandry” is, but I’m starting to be persuaded that “something else” is a worthy winner.  Let’s hear it for the wisdom of crowds.  (I’m going to leave the poll open for a while longer, just to see what happens.)

The “I Love You” meme

The thing to do today on the internet seems to be to post about love.  Well, specifically, to post the sentence “I love you” to your social networking sites.  Now, naturally, I love no one.  (Well, that’s a lie.  I mean, it goes without saying that I love you.  But since I love only you, that seems insensitive to speak of too loudly.)  Perhaps that is why, when I think of the most recent rumination on love to deeply effect me, my mind falls on this, from The Last Unicorn by Peter Beagle.

When I was a young man, and very well thought of,
I couldn't ask aught that the ladies denied.
I nibbled their hearts like a handful of raisins,
And I never spoke love but I knew that I lied.

But I said to myself, "Ah, they none of them know
The secret I shelter and savor and save.
I wait for the one who will see through my seeming,
And I'll know when I love by the way I behave."

The years drifted over like clouds in the heavens;
The ladies went by me like snow on the wind.
I charmed and I cheated, deceived and dissembled,
And I sinned, and I sinned, and I sinned, and I sinned.

But I said to myself, "Ah, they none of them see
There's part of me pure as the whisk of a wave.
My lady is late, but she'll find I've been faithful,
And I'll know when I love by the way I behave."

At last came a lady both knowing and tender,
Saying, "You're not at all what they take you to be."
I betrayed her before she had quite finished speaking,
And she swallowed cold poison and jumped into the sea.

And I say to myself, when there's time for a word,
As I gracefully grow more debauched and depraved,
"Ah, love may be strong, but a habit is stronger,
And I knew when I loved by the way I behaved."

This concept, “love may be strong, but a habit is stronger,” makes me wonder what really does go without saying.  What can dissolve in a caustic silence, which one might mistake for stasis?  Perhaps it is not empty sentimentality about sentimentality, but a recognition of the need for communicative renewal that makes internet I Love You day attractive.

Closing Some Tabs

Sally Wister’s Journal — M. T. Anderson  recommends this Civil War era journal in an interview, saying it was one of the more interesting things he read doing research for Octavian Nothing.  He claims that if Wister had ever turned her hand to fiction, she would have been one of the great American novelists.

The Quiet Coup — article in The Atlantic in which Simon Johnson, former economist with the International Monetary Fund, explains exactly how the IMF would be treating the United States if it were any other country.

Fear and the Availability Heuristic — post on Bruce Schneier’s blog about the non-rational basis of most human risk assessment.

360 Degree Character Reviews — John Rogers talks about some interesting exercises a writer can use to get to know his or her characters.

Join or Die — artist Justine Lai’s series of paintings of herself having sex with the presidents of the United States.

BOINC — Open source software to donate unused processor cycles to many scientific projects.  I’ve donated mine to the World Community Grid.

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