Facebook, which always has my best interest at heart, communicates with me through the ads it chooses to place on my profile page. I have just decoded its latest instructions:
I am to set up a social networking website that lets me achieve wealth by acquiring free samples of Huggies and selling them to the vast market of nontraditional urination enthusiasts. EugeneFischer.com will soon be relaunching with an exciting new design! Suck it, recession; Facebook’s got my back!